沒有糭子的端午節

端午節快到，
傳統食物糭子總是缺不了，
在家更是每年必備的食物，
因為端午節當日中午會吃雜豆甜粥，
加各式的糭子，
似是例行公事.

印象記得只是讀大學時在外無緣品嚐，
卻有點懷念那年年如是，
最終發覺是有點豐盛的美食！

還有一年,
在內地的一個偏遠鄉下，
明明是端午節，
卻完完全全沒有過節的氣氛，
剛巧前一天我的學生媽媽邀請我們一班志工往食午餐，
怎知她下田工作至中午一時多，
仍未見她回家準備午飯，
在農村的那些曰子裏，
我們已習慣早睡早起早飯的習慣，
其實十一時多已有餓的感覺，
但因為受邀，
所以叫包伙食的村長太太不用為我們做飯，
我們又不好意思，
人家單親媽媽在田辛苦幹活，
我們城市入來的人卻给人增麻煩，
最後接近二時我們步行至村口唯一的家庭式飯店，
匆匆吃了麵條，
就是我們的午餐，
晚餐一齊如常，
饅頭，
炒菜，
農家菜!

不應犯的錯

因為現金將用完，
需要取少少以作旁身，
周六早上經過新馬路大豐，
由於是户內櫃員機，
感覺較安全，
入內也發覺ATM是新機種，
至完結時原來收據可以印户口結餘，
快捷方便，
可惜，
眨眼間忘記自己未取1900元，
且自己已行開機的範圍，
而另一女人正在該機的前面，
看到此情況，
並沒有出聲，
幸好自己此時醒覺，
速走回機前拿回自己的錢，
深刻的教訓！

From my eyes only

True story:

Several people keep on getting water with their own bottles,
and the top of the bottle directly touched the month of the water machines,
why they can't think of the other people are sharing the same source of water,
for the safety of the good health of all,
to avoid the transmitted disease,
please bring your own cup
thanks!

In a not too big not too small office,
the air-conditioner is on,
however, around 20 persons,
all of them brought their own private fans,
what is the reason behind
why there is no permanent better solution?

"The Summer Before The Dark" by Doris Lessing

In a single summer Kate Brown journeys from turkey to Spain, and from husband to lover to madness, shedding the protective parts of her personality in this coming-of-age story from the Nobel Prize-winning author of The Grass is Singing. Reprint.
 

"人生風景"

作者： 余秋雨

出版社：時報出版

出版日期：2007/04/19

     寒冬季節，萬木凋零，山河失色，
　　只有夾在書本間的那些樹葉還?人們保留著某種記憶。
　　即便不在冬季，世上還有很多人無暇或無力暢遊山林，
　　那麼，幾片樹葉，也算是一種不俗的饋贈。
　　這本書，就是從我栽種在山間的那些樹木中採摘下來的葉子，
　　它們脫離了曾經滋養它們的枝幹，
　　卻在這?拼接出了一個圖案，
　　這個圖案叫「人生」。
　　如果你願意湊近一聞，
　　說不定還殘留著山林的依稀氣息。－－余秋雨                                                                                                
　　余秋雨的人生思索Life Wisdom
● 人生的過程，在多數情況下遠遠重於人生的目的。
● 一切裝腔作勢的深奧，自鳴得意的無聊，可以誆騙天下，卻無法面對兒童。
● 人到中年，處於一種相對冷靜的疏離和評判；一邊撫慰幼兒，一邊撫慰老人。我想，中年在人生意義上的魅力就在於這雙向的疏離和撫慰。
● 老年是如詩的年歲。總是比較悠閒，他們可能不會寫詩或已不在寫詩，卻以詩的方式生存著。看街市忙碌，看後輩來去，看庭花凋零，看春草又綠，思緒則時斷時續、時喜時悲、時真時幻。
● 人生不要光做加法，在人際交往上，經常減肥、排毒，才會輕輕鬆地走以後的路。
● 在人格不受尊重的年代，一切所謂的美好，只是空洞的欺騙。
● 「善」和「愛」是一種奉獻，它拆除了生命之間的藩籬，使我們從緊張敏感而走向舒展自由。這是一場代代相傳的接力賽，把人類拉出無邊的黑暗。
作者簡介
余秋雨
　　著名美學專家、文化史論學者及作家。曾獲「國家級突出貢獻專家」及「上海市十大高教精英」，並曾任上海戲劇學院、交通大學、華東師範大 學人文學院教授，辭職後繼續從事教學和寫作，兼任上海寫作協會會長。代表作《文化苦旅》及《山居筆記》在兩岸三地獲獎連連廣受好評，而其「行走在文化長河 中」的書寫方式，也曾引發文化界及知識分子間的熱烈討論。 

http://www.books.com.tw/web/sys_serialtext/?item=0010359697

如果婚姻是一份工……

https://hk.news.yahoo.com/blogs/goodjobs/%E5%A6%82%E6%9E%9C%E5%A9%9A%E5%A7%BB%E6%98%AF%E4%B8%80%E4%BB%BD%E5%B7%A5%E2%80%A6%E2%80%A6-015824995.html

不少打工仔奉信「賣身主義」——嫌「賣身」兩個字不好聽，也許叫「瞓身」工作、委身於工作，還不如稱為「入贅工作」傳神。這裡「入贅」兩個字，男女適用，以凸顯身份的懸殊，愛恨之交纏。

如 果婚姻與工作在本質或意識上是互通的話，那麼，打工仔以婚姻觀去理解工作，亦未嘗不可。最近熱炒的「後偷食聲明」，也許可以給「情海翻波」的打工仔一些啟 示——打工仔終日浮浮沉沉，徘徊在愛與痛的邊緣，不知道何去何從……要留下來拼下去；還是快刀斬亂麻狠撇老闆；還是姑且吊住條命、騎牛搵馬；甚或，已經麻 木，拖得一時不如拖足一世？

不如就換個角度，透過愛情與婚姻的濾鏡，看待工作︰

1/ 感情不是三言兩語可以說清楚的
打工仔啟示︰別說三言兩語，就算花光一千零一夜，譯盡38國語言，都理不清半個流言蜚語。職場上，不要執意解釋自己，反正夾不來的人無論如何都夾不來，講少兩句保持同事距離就好。

2/ 難過是因為有愛
打工仔啟示︰如果返工感覺不甘、不忿，甚至憤怒、看不過眼，那是因為對工作還有期待，未至於完全「老油條」或「爛泥」。不妨化悲憤為正能量，心悅誠服撞個焦頭爛額，總好過麻木無情地苟且偷生。

3/ 多少的婚姻，遇到挫折、經歷考驗
打工仔啟示︰婚姻與工作本身，就是挫折，就是考驗。與其絞盡腦汁要對抗，倒不如平常心去接受、反省、學習、體會。不強求順風順水一步登天，只要今次比上一次做得更好。

4/ 靜心聆聽自己的心走下去
打工仔啟示︰做人應該忠於自己，有時候，甚麼福利待遇、前景發展等，統統都是其次，最重要是撫心自問，到底想不想、喜不喜歡。只要喜歡，一切都是值得的。

5/ 我們會一起去面對
打工仔啟示︰沒有過不去的難關。無論情場還是職場上，只要勇敢面對，任何的失敗與難堪都總會過去，然後昇華成為故事。

6/ 感恩
打工仔啟示︰要相信，在生命中出現的每個人每件事，都是有原因的，有些是過路的、有些是來考驗我們的、有些是來教精我們的，當然亦總有些是來獎勵、保護、愛惜我們的。工作亦然，再豬頭骨都好，在勞累與試煉中，我們變得更能幹、更成熟、更hirable，亦更高人工。

一句講晒︰不是挖人瘡疤或乘機抽水，而是要從痛苦與難過之中，提煉出站起來的毅力與勇氣。在愛情裡面，誰不是患得患失，一邊怕痛（而痛似乎是無可避免的），一邊勇往直前用力去愛呢？既然擁有這份能耐，可以發揮在愛情和婚姻裡，自然就可以運用到工作上，以至其他人生處境中。

CTgoodjobs（http://www.ctgoodjobs.hk）

【愛瞞覺醒】5.27 七千澳門人一齊反高官離補

光明頂 20140526 - 澳門離補法案

Movie - Doubt

誘惑

Doubt

上映日期：2009-02-20
類　　型：劇情
片　　長：1時43分
演　　員：【穿著Prada的惡魔】梅莉史翠普、【柯波帝: 冷血告白】菲力普塞摩霍夫曼、【曼哈頓奇緣】艾美亞當斯
發行公司：博偉
官方網站：http://www.bvi.com.tw/movies/doubt/

故事的背景發生在60年代末期的紐約，任職一所教會學校校長的老修女(梅莉史翠普飾)懷疑有不良前科的神父猥褻教會的學生。面對校長的嚴厲指控，神父挺身為自己辯護，且由於校長提出的指控毫無根據，更有其他修女堅信神父清白，於是該起事件以教會安排神父升遷終止。

Movie - The Prize 第一名的煩惱

The Prize

上映日期：2011-08-12
類　　型：劇情
片　　長：1時50分
導　　演：寶拉‧瑪可維琪（Paula Markovitch）
演　　員：勞拉‧奧格蕾卡（Laura Agorreca）、寶拉‧格里娜伊‧耶索克（Paula Galinelli Hertzog）、維維艾納‧索拉妮提（Viviana Suraniti）
發行公司：佳映

官方網站：http://jointmovie.pixnet.net/blog

週末歎茶‧嚐點 Delightful Dim Sum Lunch

http://starworldmacau.com/zh-hant/promotions/dining-offer?id=51

於高尚雅緻的宴會功能廳，細味精緻點心由$28起，享用粵式自選午膳每位$178！矜貴點心包括: 黑松露生汁蝦球、松茸糯米釀鳳翼、龍捲風北極玉帶子及金滔繽紛蝦餃等。

華麗禮堂 温馨茶聚 週末自配套餐   
每位每項任配一款
逢周六及日供應

前菜A. 澳門燒腩仔, 博士叉燒, 手拍青瓜仔, 雨花紅蜇頭
B. 川味捧捧雞, 蒜泥白肉, 四喜燴烤夫, 養心雲耳仔
C. 蒜香和牛粒, 金磚豆腐, 海蜇辣雞絲, 欖菜四季豆

點心A. 金箔繽紛蝦餃, 鮑魚釀花菇, 箭豬奶黃包, 金絲玉縷卷
B. 黑松露蒸燒賣, 翡翠如意餃, 鍋燒菜肉包, 脆網龍皇卷
C. 蟹籽百花魚肚, 帶子牛肉球, 魚翅小籠包, 京城餃餃鎮

湯 / 羹
A. 燕液椰皇蟹肉羹
B. 冬茸太極龍皇羹
C. 瑤柱海馬螺頭燉豬展
D. 蟲草花黑豚肉燉北菇

主食A. 富袋鮑汁燴海味
B. 柚柑歲月黃金蝦
C. 滿掌乾坤環柱甫
D. 龍捲風北極帶子

麵 / 飯
A. X.O. 醬珍味炒飯
B. 雪山石榴子飯
C. 萬人迷鴛鴦米
D. 壹品天下擔擔麵
E. 五穀豐登蛋白飯
F. 鬼馬豚肉煨雞麵

甜點A. 楊枝甘露
B. 御庭桂花榚
C. 香芋雪糕糯米糍

茶茗: 每位澳門幣15元

每位澳門幣178元  

( 5 位或以上: 每位澳門幣158元  ;  9 位或以上: 每位澳門幣138元 - 此優惠以每枱計算 )

地點: 8/F 宴會功能廳
訂座電話: 8290 8074
營業時間: 逢星期六及星期日，上午11:00 - 下午3:00

以上價格需另加收10%的服務費

Indulge in dim sum selections from $28 up, enjoy authentic Cantonese set lunch at $178 per person in Function Room.

Function Room Dim Sum Lunch
Each pax selects one item from each category
Available on Saturdays and Sundays

AppetizerA. Roasted Pork, Barbecued Pork, Cucumber with Vinaigrette, Chilli Red Jelly Fish Head
B. Chilli Sliced Chicken, Sliced Pork Belly in Mashed Garlic, Traditional Ko-Fu,  Marinated Fungus
C. Sautéed Wagyu Beef with Garlic, Deep-fried Bean Curd, Spicy Shredded Chicken with Jelly Fish, Black Olive with Bean

Dim Sum
A. Steamed Shrimps Dumplings with Golden Leaves, Steamed Mushrooms with Baby Abalone, Deep-fried Egg Custard Buns, Deep-fried Spring Rolls
B. Steamed Pork Dumplings with Black Truffle, Steamed Shrimps and Spinach Dumplings, Pan-fried Vegetables and Meat Buns, Deep-fried Seafood Rolls
C. Steamed Fish Maw Filled with Minced  Shrimp and Crab Roe, Steamed Beef Balls with Scallops, Steamed Dumplings with Shark's Fin, Pan-fried Pork and Vegetables Dumplings

SoupA. Braised Bird’s Nest Soup with Coconut
B. Braised Seafood Soup with Mashed Spinach
C. Double-boiled Pork Shank with Conpoy, Sea Whelks and Sea Horse
D. Double-boiled Karobuta Pork with Cordyceps and Mushroom

Main Course
A. Braised Assorted Dried Seafood with Abalone Sauce
B. Deep-fried Prawns with Grapefruit and Pomelo Sauce
C. Braised Conpoy and Goose Liver in Abalone Sauce
D. Roasted Scallop and Bacon in Honey Sauce

Noodles / Rice
A. Fried Rice with Seafood in X.O. Sauce
B. Fried Rice with Egg White
C. Braised Glass Noodles with Assorted Peppers and Shredded Goose
D. "Tan Tan" Noodles in "Sichuan" Style
E. Fried Rice with Seafood and Food Crops
F. Braised Noodles with Kurobuta Pork and Chicken in Superior Soup

DessertsA. Sweetened Mango Cream with Sago and Pomelo
B. Sweetened Osmanthus Cake
C. Frozen Mochi (Taro Flavoured)

Chinese Tea: MOP 15 per pax

Mop 178 per pax

( 5 pax or above: Mop158 per pax ; 9 pax or above: Mop138 per pax  -  Privileges are based according to each table )

*Up to 20% off exclusively for Galaxy Privilege Club members

Chui withdraws compensation bill to “listen to the people”

http://www.macaudailytimes.com.mo/macau/53226-chui-withdraws-compensation-bill-to-%E2%80%9Clisten-to-the-people%E2%80%9D.html

The Chief Executive Chui Sai On called a press conference yesterday morning to announce the scrapping of the contentious compensation bill that would have granted a lavish retirement package to the CE and top officials, on the heels of two mass protests this week. 

Chui said that the government would only advance with a new proposal “if the population agrees.” Meanwhile, he said the Secretariat for Administration and Justice will collect opinions, and the government promises to utilize multiple channels such as media, lectures, and explanatory sessions, in order to receive suggestions.

國家統計局：去年平均工資漲7.3% 增速放緩

Macao Daily news 28/5/2014

    【新華社北京廿七日電】國家統計局廿七日發佈的一三年平均工資數據顯示，全國城鎮非私營單位就業人員年平均工資為51,474元，扣除物價因素，比上年實際增7.3%；城鎮私營單位就業人員年平均工資為32,706元，實際增10.9%。

    經濟放緩影響工資
    “一三年中國經濟運行總體保持平穩較快增長，為工資水準穩定增長奠定基礎。”國家統計局人口和就業統計司司長馮乃林指出，國家一系列政策措施對工資穩定增長也起了促進作用，包括全國27個省份上調最低工資標準，平均增幅17%；20個省份制定工資增長指導線，基準線普遍在14%左右。

    儘管全國平均工資水準繼續保持較快增長，但增速放緩。一三年全國城鎮非私營單位和城鎮私營單位就業人員年平均工資的實際增速，分別比上年回落1.7和3.1個百分點。
    “近年來中國經濟增速持續放緩，部分企業生產經營面臨困難，工資增速自然也就放緩。”北京大學國民經濟核算研究中心研究員蔡志洲說。

    不同行業工資參差
    每次公佈平均工資數據時，都有很多網友反映，工資低於平均工資，感慨“被增長”。馮乃林解釋說，由於平均工資數據反映的是全國或某一類單位的平均水準，具體到一個單位或個人，其工資水準和增長情況與全國或某一類單位平均水準不可能一致，因而會有不同感受。總體來說，工資水準的地區、行業、登記註冊類型、崗位之間的差距仍然較大。

    “對城鎮非私營單位而言，多數就業人員的工資水準低於全國平均工資。”馮乃林坦承，不同行業的工資水準差距仍然明顯。平均工資排名前十位的行業，就業人員僅佔34%，其年平均工資高於全國平均水準；平均工資排名後九位的行業，就業人員佔66%，其年平均工資低於全國平均水準。

    分行業門類看，城鎮非私營單位年平均工資最高的行業是金融業99,659元，是全國平均水準的1.94倍；年平均工資最低的行業是農、林、牧、漁業25,820元，是全國平均水準的約50%。
    收入分配差距較大

    蔡志洲表示，由於當前中國收入分配差距較大，少數高收入行業工資對平均工資水準影響比較大，造成過半數就業人員工資低於平均工資的現象。建議公佈平均數的同時，公佈中位數和衆數，以更全面地反映實際工資水準。

    值得注意的是，雖然收入分配差距仍較大，但在不同行業、所有制和地區間都已出現一些改善的積極跡象。

    “這些積極變化，得益於國家大力調整收入分配結構，也與中國經濟發展新的階段性特徵有關。”蔡志洲指出，一定要控制好收入分配差距，才能讓發展的成果更多由百姓分享，才能讓發展的動力更加充足。

Line Dance* - Hong Kong Holiday

“Drop it, Chui!”− Crowd rallies against top officials compensation bill

http://www.macaudailytimes.com.mo/macau/53091-%E2%80%9Cdrop-it%2C-chui%21%E2%80%9D%E2%88%92-crowd-rallies-against-top-officials-compensation-bill.html

On 25/5/2014 Macau witnessed what some have dubbed the largest demonstrations since the 1999 handover. Organizers say that 20,000 people took to the streets and demanded that the Macau government retract the legislation that provides top officials with what the protesters considered an unreasonable level of compensation after leaving office, as well the Chief Executive’s immunity from prosecution. The police numbers indicate a much smaller crowd of 7,000 individuals.

The demonstrators suggested that it was an ultimatum to the CE Chui Sai On to drop the bill before the Legislative Assembly plenary meeting tomorrow. If the government does not comply, they will gather outside the AL building tomorrow.

熱線追蹤 - 張愛玲

"半生緣" 張愛玲..........

http://www.juzimi.com/jianjiejieshao/922

《半生缘》是张爱玲第一部完整的长篇小说，原名《十八春》，一九五一年结稿，后来张爱玲旅美期间，进行改写，删掉了一些略带政治色彩的结尾，易名为《半生缘》。

他和曼桢认识，已经是多年前的事了。算起来倒已经有十四年了——真吓人一跳！马上使他连带地觉得自己已老了许多。日子过得真快，尤其对于中年以后 的人，十年八年都好像是指顾间的事。可是对于年轻人，三年五载就可以是一生一世。他和曼桢从认识到分手，不过几年的工夫，这几年里面却经过这么许多事情， 仿佛把生老病死一切的哀乐都经历到了。 

曼桢曾经问过他，他是什么时候起开始喜欢她的。他当然回答说：“第一次看见的时候。”说那句话的时候是在那样的一种心醉的情形下，简直什么都可以相信，自己当然绝对相信那不是谎话。其实他到底是什么时候第一次看见她的，根本就记不清楚了。

半生緣的佳句：

1. 從前最後一次見面，至少是突如其來的，沒有訣別。今天從這裡走出去，卻是永別了，清清楚楚，就跟死了一樣。

2. 當痛苦已經成為回憶的一部分時，就已經是不能改變的了。

3. 日子過得真快，尤其對於中年以後的人，十年八年都好像是指顧間的事。

4. 可是對於年輕人，三年五載就可以是一生一世。

5. 這世界上有一個人是永遠等著你的，不管是什麼時候，不管在什麼地方，反正你知道，總有這麼個人。

6. 怎麼叫幸福？這要看怎麼解釋。

7. 也許愛不是熱情，也不是懷念，不過是歲月，年深月久成了生活的一部分。

8. 相愛的人也許沒辦法長相左右，但是那段刻骨銘心的愛，卻是叫人無法忘懷的吧！！

9. 此情可待成追憶，只是當時已惘然。

10. 無可否認地，生命不管或長或短，每個人都將經歷過一生、一輩子。

11. 我知道，人生無常，事事難料。一切縹緲間，不必看得太細，這愁，隨年華逝去，這痛，讓雲也飄散。

12. 曼楨對世鈞所說的「我們回不去了」。

13. 不管你的条件有多差 总会有个人在爱你。不管你的条件有多好 也总有个人不爱你。

「厚多士姐」及厚多士事件

厚多士事件，又名「你厚多士」事件，發生於2014年5月，源自在網絡上流傳的一段大陸婦人因為被指在港鐵車廂霸佔座位，以及在車廂進食，被一名女乘客出言阻止，繼而引起罵戰。有關罵戰情景被人拍攝並上載至網絡，事件影片起初分為上集及下集，及後有網民把有關事件影片結集。
由於片段中的大陸婦人不斷重覆地說「你好多事」，因其口音問題，被網友取笑，而慘遭惡搞成「你厚多士」，及後她說的其他字句更被惡搞成多種食物。
http://evchk.wikia.com/wiki/%E5%8E%9A%E5%A4%9A%E5%A3%AB%E4%BA%8B%E4%BB%B6

爆料者自稱是資深老師，於2010/11年度在某幼稚園任教時遇上「厚多士姐」和他的兩名兒子，結果留下極深刻印象，並數落5宗罪，包括兩名孩子 報名時沒有穿褲子，其母表示「喺鄉下都係咁」；孩子經常撼傷頭，老師溫馨提示母親要小心時，卻被大罵；「厚多士姐」有錢染髮扮靚，但經常拖欠每月80元的 學費；孩子功課表現欠佳，屢勸不改；「厚多士姐」曾在全校家長面前罵老師是死八婆。不過，該爆料者表示，極同情兩名孩子，指「厚多士姐」發狂罵人時，孩子 只能「將個頭耷低同唔出聲，因為佢哋咁細個都感到難堪，我看見了也難過」。
文章立即被網民瘋傳，有網民進一步指責「厚多士姐」是潑婦，但亦有不少網民認為，家長和學校之間的交流，誰是誰非老師都不應該公開談論，如 今似是侵犯私穩，又指該爆料者口裏說同情孩子，但該篇文章恐怕會令人繼續嘲笑家長，亦會令孩子被取笑，甚至被進一步「起底」，令孩子造成極大傷害，呼籲大 家不要「禍及孩子」。
5月下旬，《東周刊》 報導了厚多士姐的專訪，她表示自己九年前嫁來香港，後與丈夫離婚。每月靠約7,000元綜援為生，並與兩個兒子居於九龍區的公居單位。對於在港鐵衝突的一 幕，她猶有餘怒的強調，兒子肚餓，不能不給他吃：「我被人罵時為什麼沒有拍下來？鄉下婆都是人，我都有香港身份證，為什麼要看我不起？我又沒有偷、沒有偷 搶，為什麼要如此玩弄我？如果我自殺死了，全香港人要負責！」很多網民回應請安心上路。

5 essential habits of early retirees

Adopting these strategies could allow you to retire years ahead of schedule.

They save a lot

They understand their spending habits

They have an investment plan

They pursue happiness instead of more income

They are optimistic

http://money.msn.com/retirement/5-essential-habits-of-early-retirees

Hidden America - Children Of The Mountains (Documentary)

20/20 - A Story of Transgender Children

Barbara Walters retires after five decades

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-27446759

Walters began her on-air career in 1962

Continue reading the main story

Related Stories

• Barbara Walters to retire in 2014

Legendary US broadcaster Barbara Walters has retired from a 52-year career with a last appearance on her daytime show, The View.

Walters, 84, began her career in 1962 and was known for her high-profile interviews with broadcaster ABC.

She was joined on the programme by Hillary Clinton and media mogul Oprah Winfrey, both frequent Walters interview subjects.

Walters will continue to serve as executive producer of the programme.

"I can't believe this day has come, and I can't believe it's for real," Ms Clinton told Walters.

Walters began her career on NBC's Today morning programme before moving to ABC in 1976.

There, she presented the evening news broadcast, news magazine programme 20/20 as well as a series of standalone interview programmes, including her yearly Most Fascinating People special.

Among Ms Walters' subjects were a host of music and pop culture stars, every president and first lady since Richard Nixon, and foreign leaders like UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, Russian President Vladimir Putin, Cuban President Fidel Castro and a joint interview with Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin.

ABC's Barbara Walters speaks to the BBC about her Assad interview

She also interviewed Syrian President Bashar al-Assad a few months after a public uprising that would eventually turn into the country's civil war.

Walters began The View 17 years ago as a morning chat show with four or five women with differing political perspectives.

On Thursday, when the programme was recorded, the studio audience clapped wildly when Ms Winfrey entered.

"You're the reason I wanted to be in television," she told Walters. "You shattered the glass ceiling for so many women."

Ms Winfrey later introduced two dozen prominent female television journalists, including Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric, Robin Roberts, Gayle King, Connie Chung and Joan Lunden, whom a visibly moved Walters called "my legacy".

楓 橋 夜 泊

楓 橋 夜 泊  　唐 · 張繼

月落烏啼霜滿天，江楓漁火對愁眠。

姑蘇城外寒山寺，夜半鐘聲到客船。

Grace Kelly - Rear Window

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Kelly

"Madame Claire" by Susan Ertz

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Ertz
http://bookdirectory.net/?p=544740

http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/supplement/columnist/art/20090927/13251784 

Kathleen Winsor -"Forever Amber"

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathleen_Winsor

Line Dance - Don't Say Goodbye

Line Dance - LOVE

Line Dance - Chill Factor

Line Dance - Hasta Manana

Line Dance - Bossa Nova

Line dance - Shake the room

Line Dance - The Glory of Love

Line Dance - @ The Hop

Line Dance - Faking It

9000 patacas

For the Macanese,
the annual great event will be in July this year,
as our bank account will be credited by MOP9,000,
being a welfare or bonus to the citizens from the Macau Government.

To the people who used to be Macau residents,
especially before hand-over period,
are now staying out of Macau,
some don't have the update Macau Government official identity paper,
some may admire our bonus,
thus some tried to come back to apply for the valid ones.

For the 9000 dividends distributed each year over the past 5 years,
different people have different views:

a friend said he won't bother to spend time to apply for the update ID card,
to entitle for the annual payment,
because,
time is money,
and
he is now a successful and rich business man.

an old lady,
who has no income after the retirement,
denied to come back for the application of the valid ID,
as she said that she was thankful for staying good health,
she would like to leave the money to the needed people,
( I believe that case doesn't happen),
she is my old aunt who lives in Hong Kong.

my old classmate,
she came back to Macau several times,
but failed to get the valid Macau ID,
as she could not provide the documents to the government department.
But as we grew up together,
for sure,
we all know she was a permanent Macau resident!

The other classmate,
she spent a lot of time coming back to apply for the valid Macau ID,
eventually,
she got back her real Macau ID,
thus, every year,
she can also enjoy the bonus as we have.

For those who has immigrated to other foreign countries,
glad to hear that they would like to make the vacation back to Macau,
from time to time,
as the bonus subside the plane ticket expenses to them,
thus, they can come back to the beautiful, memorable and crowed casino city at a reasonable cost!

Movie - 「為愛朗讀」（The Reader）

Joke about complete and finished

Got this from my colleague, funny!

"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.

 When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. 

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"

100 times

Interesting math. in my personsal record,
after n years of working,
my present monthly salary just reached 100 times
of the salary of my first full time job after high school,
really amazing!

「Please re-sign」寫成「Please resign」上班族英文差 「重簽」變「辭職」

 

https://hk.news.yahoo.com/上班族英文差-重簽-變-辭職-225655032.html

 

【經濟日報專訊】本港上班族英語水平下降，人力顧問指出，有員工請上司重簽文件，竟將「Please re-sign」寫成「Please resign」，變為叫上司辭職，弄出大笑話。

亦有留洋數年的大學生，英語會話雖好，但寫電郵時卻錯漏百出。
有企業特設英文水平關卡，員工要升職，IELTS（The International English Language Testing System，雅思國際英語測驗）成績須達6.5分或以上。
立法會議員鍾樹根在議事廳的一句「Shame on you！」，被網民瘋傳挖苦。

王維基：電郵詞不達意 阻升職

香港電視網絡主席王維基表示，事件令他憶起10多年前在公司遇到類似情況，很多不同職位的同事包括銷售及資訊科技部門員工，其工作成績不錯，理應晉升為管理層，但寫英文電郵時文法錯兼詞不達意，例如寫「Yes, I don't like it」，令接收者接收不到真正信息，無法升職。
他認為，員工除要與內部及下屬溝通外，還要代表公司跟外界聯繫，故安排員工進修英語，後期甚至要求晉升至某階層員工，必須應考IELTS考試，成績未達6.5分者將不能晉升。他與當時的行政總裁也接受考試，以身作則。
人力資源顧問公司Core Search董事總經理張慧敏指出，語文是職場武器，可惜本港僱員英語水平愈見退步，曾有員工請上司重簽文件，竟將「Please re-sign」寫成「Please resign」，變為請上司辭職；有部分中層轉工面試時，英語不太流暢，尤其是中資背景僱員，說話時難免中英夾雜。她表示英文「水皮」難免影響職場表現及升職，尤其面對外籍人士進行演講時，「半桶水」者普遍不爭取發言，發揮機會有限。
但她強調，人力資源部一般只會測試大學畢業生英語水平，中層多考慮其工作經驗及業績為主，是否聘用亦不單靠IELTS成績，避免請到「高分低能」員工。

面試宜考寫講 鼓勵進修英文

中原人力資源顧問有限公司董事總經理周綺萍指出，本港較少企業以IELTS試評核管理層英語水平，多以工作表現作晉升參考；而僱主未必要求僱員英語水平「超班」，但不少履歷表未必可如實反映應徵者的語文實力，她曾聘請一名澳洲讀書數年的求職者，面試時英語對答尚算流利，但入職後要求他寫英文文件，期望與表現卻出現大落差：「文件完全詞不達意，要請資深同事邊教邊重寫！」
但她提醒管理層，勿對新一代批評太多，免流失員工，管理層可請員工進修英文，或鼓勵員工多用英語，如招聘職位對語文水平有極高要求，應在面試時要求應徵者接受英文寫作及口語測試。
張慧敏強調，上班族要急救英語，離不開多聽多講，例如多看英美劇集及報章，以豐富英文詞彙。

14.5.20

一世.我愛你！
Today 's day in Mandarin -
I love you forever!
So romantic...........

父與子的距離

上周五早上上班，
從家的附近拐彎經過一間小學，
看見很多家長手拖手带小童上學去,
奇怪的是，
看見一位爸爸與他的兒子步行上學，
他們反傳統的用了一條長長的像爬山繩子,
兒子像很自由的自己步行，
初望真有放狗的感覺.
其實上學放學都是很好的親子時間，
手拖手更有把距離拉近的感覺，
對於這類創意的新產品，
覺得就是將人的實際距離越拉越遠

Colorful life

Seems to me one can
assiociate different colors
to his or her daily life,
or certain period of time,
then drops of water can make up
a bowl of water,
further a big container of water.
With the majority wins theory,
one can decide his/her life-
to be brightful or to be dreadful.

Want to have a cheerful color every day,
then making my life wonderful!

我看外語片

因為一套有好評的日本電影，
上次看時的光碟出了問題，
無緣觀看，
再在網上找了一個版本，
最後發現不知是什麽文的字幕，
走進了第三世界裏，
又不甘心再放棄，
嘗試以另一角度去欣賞，
劇情可以大致估，
但原來欠缺細節內容，
亦是電影引導我們去深思的地方.
今早再在網上去查找文字版的電影大綱，
也深深感覺不同文化的互通橋樑，
文字翻譯工作者，
與原創作者，
同樣重要！

廣州有書墟

被名稱吸引，
周日下午獨自去了氹仔嘉模區聽此講座，
終於有新發現，
不錯！
廣州市北京路225號，
225.goelia.com.cn
另類創意文化交流，
希望澳門亦有多些此類有心人，
豐富我們的文化活動.

Movie - 我這樣過了一生 Kuei-Mei, a Woman (1985)

Line Dance - Mars Attack

Line Dance - Indian Sound

成語 - 濫竽充數 impostor

對於混在一群人當中，裝模作樣的，煞有其事的“裝會”

impostor

http://www.spiiker.com/story-detail/story/39306396.html

  Be there just to make up the number

        During the Warring States Period (475-221BC), the King of the State of Qi was very fond of listening to yu ensembles. He often got together 300 yu players to form a grand music. The king treated his musician very well. A man named Nanguo heard about that and he managed to become a member of the band, even though he was not good at playing the instrument at all. Whenever the band played for the king, Nanguo just stood in the line and pretended to play. Nobody realized he was making no sound at all. As a result, he enjoyed his treatment just as the other musician did. When the king died, his son became the new ruler who also liked the music played on the yu. However, he preferred solos so that he ordered the musicians to play the yu one by one. Therefore, Nanguo had to run out of the palace.

　　The idiom "Be there just to make up the number" is used to mock someone who passes for a specialist. You can also hear people saying it about themselves to show their modesty.

成語 - 掩耳盜鈴 deceive oneself

ignorance and foolishness of the person who deceives himself as well as others
ostrich belief
ostrich policy
to play the ostrich 
Plugging Ones Ears While Stealing a Bell
Covering One’s Ears While Stealing a Bell
to deceive oneself
to bury one's head in the sand


掩耳盜鈴，原為盜鐘掩耳，為一中國成語，通常是比喻自欺欺人的意思。

出自《呂氏春秋·自知》裏的一則寓言故事，原文為盜鐘，後來鐘演變成為鈴，
掩耳盜鐘反而不常用了。

Plugging Ones Ears While Stealing a Bell

During the Spring and Autumn period, Zhi Bo of the Spring and Autumn period, Zhi Bo of the State of Jin destroyed Fans family. Taking advantage of this occasion, a man went to Fans house and tried to steal something.

Journey to the West 西遊記

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Journey_to_the_West

Monkey King 孫悟空
Pigsy 猪八戒
Sandy沙和尚

《歸來》

http://big5.xinhuanet.com/gate/big5/news.xinhuanet.com/2014-05/12/c_126489127.htm

  張藝謀執導的新影片《歸來》 講述的是中國數十年的政治動蕩給一個家庭帶來的不幸以及他們(在某種程度上)戰勝不幸的經歷。影片由他傳說中的繆斯女神鞏俐主演。中國新聞媒體報道稱， 《歸來》讓史蒂文‧斯皮爾伯格落淚。憑借《少年派的奇幻漂流》獲得奧斯卡最佳導演獎的李安在中國電視節目上說，他也深深地被《歸來》“感動”。

    該片將于本月16日在中國內地上映，在香港和美國的上映日期分別為6月和12月。電影制片人、樂視影業首席執行官張昭說，這部充滿強烈情感、表演絲絲入扣、政治背景動蕩不安以及引發歷史沉思的電影原來曾起名《團聚》。

Line Dance - Body Cha

Movie - La Voz Dormida

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1688649/fullcredits/

有趣的5

聽收音機的資訊，
泰國人以5為幸運號碼，
車牌號碼以555開始，
有趣的是，
5泰語發音是“哈“，
那麼，

在街上常可...........哈哈哈!

強國累(女)人

午後,
繁忙的新馬路行人線上,
紅燈仍然亮著,
大多數人正等候綠燈,
兩位中年女士手牽手,
在我面前,
衝出馬路去,
即時想叫出來,
車子在前面高速行駛,
有一位熱心的女子,
快速上前把她們拉回來,
並"醒"她們一頓,
她們沒有歉意,
我的心想,
她們或想雙雙往天堂去!

 

Group to keep up June 4 vigil in Senado Square despite rejection

http://www.macaudailytimes.com.mo/macau/52810-group-to-keep-up-june-4-vigil-in-senado-square-despite-rejection.html

The Open Macau Society (OMS) submitted a letter to the Civic and Municipal Affairs Bureau (IACM) yesterday and announced that it will hold an assembly at Senado Square near the fountain on June 4 this year, which is the twenty-fifth anniversary of the 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre.
OMS previously submitted an application to IACM, asking to organize a commemorative vigil near the fountain. However, the Bureau rejected the application because it had given the venue “to organizations that routinely organize events in Senado Square on June 4”. IACM replied that Senado Square will be used by the Chinese Student Association to hold an entertainment show for Children’s Day.
The organization’s president, Jason Chao, told the Times that they think the reason given by IACM was “sloppy and absurd”. “We think that the vigil is very important and we have to do it. Therefore, we are not organizing it as an event, but as an assembly.”
He further explained that the unique feature of an assembly is that, according to a ruling of the Court of Final Appeal in 2010, the administration cannot prevent other people from holding an assembly at a location because other events are already taking place there. Jason Chao said that the government cannot stop them from assembling there without a stronger legal standpoint.
He also criticized IACM’s response, saying that the Bureau was hardly fair in terms of selecting which organization can hold an event at the venue. “You [IACM] neither conducted drawing nor adopted the first-come, first serve policy. How can you be fair even though you always claim to be so? IACM should answer what factors they had considered before rejecting our application.”
The president said that there might be people who will try to interfere with their assembly. But he believes that the Public Security Police (PSP) should protect their rights. “If it is the PSP who are interfering [with] us, we are going to sue them for abuse of power.”
Since they only announced it yesterday, Jason Chao said they do not know how many people will be taking part in their assembly. But he stressed that it is only one of the commemorative events and provides residents with more choice. “If you [residents] like to sit down and not involved in any conflict, you can go to the one organized by another group outside St. Dominique Church. Or if you insist on going back to the fountain like us, you can come to us”, Jason Chao explained.
The other group gathered the Largo de São Domingos is the Democratic Development Association, led by lawmakers Ng Kuok Cheong and Au Kam San. Jason Chao commented that he is not trying to compete for participants. “By retaking Senado Square we are expanding the spectrum of the event mourning for the deaths of the 4th of June,” he said.

5.13

原來今天有特別的天主教宗教儀式，
從脸書舊同事的相片中，
才唤起我今天黃昏的的巡遊及主教山教堂的儀式，
今天是花地瑪聖母顯靈的記念日，
小時候，
上道理課時,
聽這故事覺得很神蹟,
而参與教堂的彌撒有被祝福的感覺，
惜很久沒上教堂！

Loading

Sometimes I find myself like a donkey,
with a lot of weight loading on my back,
I find them very heavy.

如果

如果，
我是一隻小鳥，
自由自在的在森林中愉快的飛舞；
如果，
我是一隻小蜜蜂，
無拘無束的在花間與蝴蝶嬉戲；
如果，
我是一條小魚，
逍遙快樂的在溪流中暢泳；
如果，
我是一隻海鷗，
任我在寛濶的海洋上飛翔.

大自然的美，
藍天白雲，
清風明月，
請等等，
我願追隨你乘風而去!

四月初八，佛誕節，譚公廟誕。。。龍船頭飯

又多一天的公眾假期，
不用上班，
往街市走，
街市沒有鮮魚鮮雞買，
早上十時多，
下著微雨
已見有長龍在中區的營地街市等下午三時派龍船頭飯。

其實，
看見 熱鬧的人潮，
內心亦很想吃龍船頭飯。

小時，
媽亦會在 四月初八去排隊取龍船頭飯。
初時是家窮，
只爸做事，多人食飯，
媽會排很久的隊取回來給我們吃，
有難得免費且材料豐富的龍船頭飯，
真好。

較大時，
因為媽說，
取開傳統的平安飯，
為家人添平安，
在她尚健康的一兩年，
我仍然有口福的嘗到有冬菇，花生，節瓜 ，素菜等像盆菜的龍船頭飯。

回憶起此飯也是美味溫暖。

只是，
現在，
要我排幾小時去取，
真的是時間成本很大。

樂在其中 －林行止

http://www.hkej.com/template/shopping/jsp/product_main.jsp?prod_type=BOOK&cate_id=18&prod_id=45

http://tieba.baidu.com/p/112031328 

幽默是練出來的－馮國濤

http://books.google.com/books?id=fMclAwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ViewAPI#v=onepage&q&f=false

Title	幽默是練出來的
Author	馮國濤
Publisher	可道書房有限公司, 2005
ISBN	9867386175, 9789867386175
Length	282 pages

詼諧的經濟學

http://wenda.hexun.com.tw/question/32630.html

http://nowinash.pixnet.net/blog/post/67371839-%E7%B6%93%E6%BF%9F%E5%AD%B8%E5%AE%B6%E7%9A%84%E7%AC%91%E8%A9%B1%E8%88%87%E7%B6%93%E6%BF%9F%E5%AD%B8

http://timnin.pixnet.net/blog/post/22587433-%E7%B6%93%E6%BF%9F%E5%AD%B8%E5%AE%B6%E7%9A%84%E7%AC%91%E8%A9%B1...


問：經濟學家是幹什麽事的？
答：短期內做很多事，但長期而言一事無成。

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一個經濟學家回母校參觀，遇到他10年前的教授。他要求教授給他看現在的試題。
試題和10年他讀書時完全一樣。
“為什麽會這樣？”他問。
教授答：“問題總是相同的，改變的只是答案！”

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莫斯科紅場舉行閱兵儀式。
在坦克、火箭各種武器和兵種列隊經過主席臺之後，是一隊著黑衣的文職人員。
赫魯曉夫問：“他們是誰？”
特務頭子答：“他們是經濟學家，如果需要，我可派遣他們去美國，保證他們會把美國經濟搞成一團糟。”

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老師問：對人類毫無用處而人類又不能擺脫的是什麽東西？學生：蒼蠅。老師猛搖頭。學生又答：蛔蟲。老師又猛搖頭。學生又答：經濟學家。老師猛烈點頭。

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克林頓和葉利欽在首腦會談的間歇閑聊。葉利欽對克林頓說：“你知道嗎，我遇到了一個麻煩。我有一百個衛兵，但其中一個是叛徒而我卻無法確認是誰。”聽罷克 林頓說：“這算不了什麽。令我苦惱的是我有一百個經濟學家，而他們當中只有一人講的是事實，可每一次都不是同一個人。” 

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 學派之分

問：要多少個經濟學家才能把一個壞燈泡換掉？
答： 八個。一個把燈泡裝上，其它的人負責保持的東西(條件)不變。
問：要多少個芝加哥學派的經濟學家才能把一個壞燈泡換掉？
答： 一個也不用。要是燈泡壞了，市場機制自然會把它更換。
問：要多少個新古典學派的經濟學家才能把一個壞燈泡換掉？
答： 那就要看當時的工資如何。
問：要多少個凱恩斯學派的經濟學家才能把一個壞燈泡換掉？
答： 愈多愈好。因為這樣便可增加就業、刺激消費，令總需求曲線向左移。


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問：上帝為何創造經濟學家？
答： 因為有經濟學家的話，天氣預報便顯得準確得多了！

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有人在鄉間路上遇牧者趕羊，對牧羊人說：“我和你打賭，如果我猜中羊群的數目，得一羊，如猜錯，你得一百元。”牧者欣然同意。路人說出一個數目，973只，牧者大為驚奇，因為確是羊群的數目。於是，路人取得他應得的“獎品”，拜別牧者，揚長而去。
走 不了兩步，牧者趕上來，說“讓我有個扯平的機會——我們再賭一場吧？”路人馬上同意，問牧者要猜什麽？牧者說猜路人的身份，路人無異議。牧者一猜中 的：“你是在官方智囊機構工作的經濟學家。”路人嚇得面無人色，牧人怎會知道他的職業？“這還不簡單，”牧者揭開謎團，“因為你抱走的是牧羊狗而不是綿 羊。”

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—所謂經濟學家，乃受過訓練的專業人士，他們可藉作出錯誤估計而賺到薪水；而所謂計量經濟家，同樣是受過訓練的專業人士，但他們則利用電腦作出錯誤估計而賺到薪水。

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市場萬能
學生: 既然市場是萬能的,，那麼我們還要經濟學家有什麼用?
老師: 因為經濟學家能給我們帶來快樂，而這是市場做不到的。

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看不見的手
一群功夫學生要畢業了, 老師諄告他們: 出去以後, 千萬不能和經濟學家過招, 因為他們都有一隻看不見的手.
 
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完全競爭
第一天，上帝創造了太陽，接著魔鬼創造了灼傷
第二天，帝創造了性,，隨後魔鬼創造了婚姻
第三天，上帝創造了一位經濟學家，而魔鬼陷入了沉思... 思前想後了好一陣子， 魔鬼也創造了一位經濟學家
 

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 論文發表

問: 你應該到哪裡發表論文?
答: 如果你能理解並能證明, 那麼就寄給數學雜誌; 如果你能理解但無法證明, 那麼就寄給物理學雜誌;
如果你不能理解但能證明, 那麼就寄給經濟學雜誌; 如果你既不能理解也無法證明, 那麼就寄給心理學雜誌.

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  智慧的顯現

一位經濟學家去華盛頓的自然歷史博物館參觀.
當站在恐龍化石面前時, 他對身邊的遊客說: 這只恐龍的歲數足足有20億年又10個月.
遊客驚訝且恭敬地問道: 您從哪裡得到如此準確的信息?
經濟學家不無自豪地回答說: 10個月前我來此參觀過. 那時講解員告訴我這只恐龍已經20億歲了.

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 經濟與政府行為

如果經濟在運轉, 那就徵稅; 如果經濟不斷地在運轉, 那就監督; 如果經濟停止運轉, 那就補貼.

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理論與實證

假如有一千名經濟學家去處理換燈泡的問題,
當中會有十個理論經濟學家, 各人對換燈泡的方法有不同的主張.
餘下的990個實證經濟學家就努力地去檢驗那一個的理論正確.
最後, 所有人仍是在黑暗之中.

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 諾貝爾經濟學獎

唯有經濟學這一門學科, 會出現兩位學者互唱反調, 而他們卻分享著同一個諾貝爾獎.

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誠實與說謊

甲: 聽說經濟學家總在說謊. 你能否告訴我, 如何判定他在說謊?
乙: 經濟學家大都比較誠實, 很少掩飾. 你只要注意他的嘴就行了, 嘴一動, 他就在說謊.

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 經濟學家的語言
美國聯邦儲備委員會主席格林斯潘的名言: 如果你覺得聽懂了我說的話, 那你一定是誤解了我的意思.
 
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絕對真理

一位經濟學家宣稱: 慶賀生日是一項有益身心健康的活動. 統計數據表明, 一個人一生中歡度的生日越多, 他的壽命就越長.

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 做愛
什麼是經濟學家? 知道100種做愛方法, 卻從未與異性交往的人.

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 病毒

如果社會是電腦, 經濟學家就是病毒. 可大致分類如下:
利益集團經濟學家病毒: 把硬碟分割許多小單位, 每個單位均無任何實際用途, 卻都聲稱自己是本機器上最重要的零件.
計量經濟學家病毒: 染上此病毒後, 60%的機器將在14%的時間裡丟失38% (正負3個百分點) 的數據.
政治經濟學家病毒: 佔用記憶體但不幹活, 只有到下次選舉才能清除.
政府經濟學家病毒: 你的系統無法工作, 但所有診斷程序都報告說一切正常.
社會主義經濟學家病毒: 造成當機, 毀掉硬碟, 並堅決否認此事發生過.
主流經濟學家病毒: 聲稱受到電腦上其他文件威脅, 並以「自衛」為借口刪除他們.
中央銀行經濟學家病毒: 確保它自己大於其他所有文件.
跨國公司經濟學家病毒: 刪除所有貨幣文件, 微笑著發出經濟即將變好的信息.
供給學派經濟學家病毒: 讓你的電腦沉睡4年, 醒過來卻發現債務增加了三千個億.
環境經濟學家病毒: 阻止你刪除任何文件.

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 明天/昨天/今天

經濟學家到明天才會知道為什麼昨天預言的事情在今天沒有發生.

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 錯誤
經濟學家就是這樣一種人, 他並不知道他所談論的. 但是, 他讓你覺得這是你的錯誤.

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社會主義/共產主義/資本主義

在社會主義制度下, 如果你有兩隻母牛, 你送一隻給鄰居, 以體現友好.
在共產主義制度下, 如果你有兩隻母牛, 你把它們送給國家, 而國家供應你牛奶.
在資本主義制度下, 如果你有兩隻母牛, 你賣掉一隻母牛, 以所得收入再購進一隻公牛.

Jokes about economists and economics

http://netec.mcc.ac.uk/JokEc.html
http://www3.nd.edu/~jstiver/jokes.htm
http://faculty.ses.wsu.edu/rayb/jokes.html
http://davidwildasin.us/humor.html
http://www.ahajokes.com/economist_jokes.html 
http://www.csus.edu/indiv/l/lundp/humor.htm


An economist is someone who knows 100 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women/men.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An economist was asked about the meaning of life. He replied:
It depends on the parameter values.
   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

An economist is someone who’s pretty good with numbers but who doesn’t have the personality to be an accountant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
- Laurence J. Peter  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


An economist is someone who, when he finds something that works in practice, tries to make it work in theory.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q:Why did God create economists?
A:In order to make weather forecasters look good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
- Marty Allen  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


What's the difference between mathematics and economics?
Mathematics is incomprehensible; economics just doesn't make any sense.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist. The Second Law of Economists: They're both wrong.
 



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, "Lets smash the can open with a rock." The chemist says, "Lets build a fire and heat the can first." The economist says, "Lets assume that we have a can-opener..."
Paul Samuelson  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were were arguing about what was God's real profession. The philosopher said, "Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live." "Ridiculous!" said the biologist "Before that, God created man and woman and all living things so clearly he was a biologist." "Wrong," said the architect. "Before that, he created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos!" "Well," said the economist, "where do you think the chaos came from?"  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 
 One day a woman went for a walk in her neighborhood and came across a boy with some puppies. "Would you like a puppy? They aren't ready for new homes quite yet, but they will be in a few weeks!"
"Oh, they're adorable," the lady said. "What kind of dogs are they?"
"These are economists."
"OK. I'll tell my husband."
So she went home and told her husband. He was very interested to see the puppies. About a week later he came across the lad; the puppies were very active.
"Hey, Mister. Want a puppy?"
"I think my wife spoke with you last week. What kind of dogs are these?"
"Oh. These are decision analysts."
"I thought you said last week that they were economists."
"Yeah, but they've opened their eyes since then."  

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Experienced economist and not so experienced economist are walking down the road. They get across shit lying on the asphalt.
Experienced economist: "If you eat it I'll give you $20,000!"
Not so experienced economist runs his optimization problem and figures out he's better off eating it so he does and collects money.
Continuing along the same road they almost step into yet another shit.
Not so experienced economist: "Now, if YOU eat this shit I'll give YOU $20,000."
After evaluating the proposal experienced economist eats shit getting the money.
They go on. Not so experienced economist starts thinking: "Listen, we both have the same amount of money we had before, but we both ate shit. I don't see us being better off."
Experienced economist: "Well, that's true, but you overlooked the fact that we've been just involved in $40,000 of trade."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. State takes one and give it to someone else.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and gives you milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and sell you milk.
NAZISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and shoot you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. State takes both of them, kill one and spill the milk in system of sewage.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.  

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Alternative: A COWSMIC VIEW OF WORLD ORGANIZATION
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
SINGAPORE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed animals in an apartment.
MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the Feng Shui is bad.
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership"is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk. Far out! Awesome!
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
JAPANESE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You give the milk to gangsters so they don't ask any awkward questions about who you're giving the milk to.
EUROPEAN FEDERALISM: You have two cows which cost too much money to care for because everybody is buying milk imported from some cheap east-European country and would never pay the fortune you'd have to ask for your cows' milk. So you apply for financial aid from the European Union to subsidise your cows and are granted enough subsidies. You then sell your milk at the former elevated price to some government-owned distributor which then dumps your milk onto the market at east-European prices to make Europe competitive. You spend the money you got as a subsidy on two new cows and then go on a demonstration to Brussels complaining that the European farm-policy is going drive you out of your job.
EASTERN EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You sell the milk (diluted with some water) at a high price to the neighbors or to anyone at the open-air market. If somebody asks for receipt, you charge for a two times higher price, so nobody will request an invoice. For concerned families with small babies you claim that the milk is "bio", though you collect the grass for feeding at the side of the highway and you keep the milk in plastic barrels used previously as containers of dangerous chemicals. Later, your neighbor or anybody from town will steal the cows and will buy their meat for a high price, and if you ask for a receipt, you will be charged for a two times higher price.
FINNISH SOCIALISM: You have two cows. Soon you have to kill one of them because in the Netherlands there is an overproduction of milk and the European Union rules say so. When you do so, you realize that it was not necessary, only the system was too slow in getting you the up-to-date news. From the stress, you get an ulcer in your stomach so you go to a doctor. The doctor realizes that this ulcer is a serious one, so you need an urgent treatment. Therefore, you soon get a call to the local hospital. The call's date is for 3 months later, because there is a queue with more urgent cases. Then your ulcer becomes even more serious because you remember that 40 percent of your income is taken for social tax.  

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One night a policeman saw a macroeconomist looking for something buy a lightpole.  He asked him is had had lost something there.  The economist said, "I lost my keyes over in the alley."  The policeman asked him why he was looking by the lightpole.  The economist responded, "it's a lot easier to look over here."

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An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.

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Value of human capital

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows,
 
Work
---------- = Power
Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time =Money, we have

Work
--------- = Knowledge
Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work
----------- = Money
Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more money you Make.
  
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A traveller wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialised in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read:
Artists' Brains $9/lb
Philosophers' Brains $12/lb
Scientists' Brains $15/lb
Economists' Brains $19/lb
Upon reading the sign, the traveller noted, "My those economists' brains must be popular!" To which the butcher replied, "Are you kidding! Do you have any idea how many economists you have to kill to get a pound of brains?!"
HA! ... It's a *supply side* joke!

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Economist poem
 
If you do some acrobatics
with a little mathematics
it will take you far along.
If your idea's not defensible
don't make it comprehensible
or folks will find you out,
and your work will draw attention
if you only fail to mention
what the whole thing is about.
Your must talk of GNP
and of elasticity
of rates of substitution
and undeterminate solution
and oligonopopsony.
 Kenneth E. BOULDING  

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Three economists and three mathematicians were going for a trip by train. Before the journey, the mathematicians bought 3 tickets but economists only bought one. The mathematicians were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. However, when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three economists went to the nearest toilet. The conductor, noticing that somebody was in the toilet, knocked on the door. In reply he saw a hand with one ticket. He checked it and the economists saved 2/3 of the ticket price.
The next day, the mathematicians decided to use the same strategy- they bought only one ticket, but economists did not buy tickets at all! When the mathematicians saw the conductor, they hid in the toilet, and when they heard knocking they handed in the ticket. They did not get it back.
Why? The economists took it and went to the other toilet.