From Mother's Day

I don't know exactly whether tomorrow is Mother's Day or not, but I know May is the month for Mother's Day.

I haven't celebrated this day for long time.

When I was small, father usually celebrated this day by giving mother extra money to buy more food for dinner, that meant we had a delicious meal at home (she didn't like to eat out).

Mother didn't like us to buy presents to her, for she thought that money was everything, we just needed to give her money. However, she would not buy the things she wanted, she saved the money instead.

That 's why I never took the initative to buy things for her (except giving her small money), but later I realised that it was not the case.

Once I bought her a beautiful shirt from HK, and it came out that she liked it very much. Still she seldom wore (may be it was so precious to her, and she would like to keep it nicely).

I didn't have a good relationship with my mom, as we didn't talk deeply very much.

When I was about 10, she bought me a new sewing machine (which cost her a lot of money!!!). She wanted me to sew, but I didn't have that talent and I didn't appreciate at all. I never touched the machine, even though now it has turned out to be an antique at home.

Thinking education for girls was useless, she wanted me to go out to work after my primary school.

When I started to work, she didn't like me to go out late in 2 AM in the morning.

Even though when I was matured enough, I like travelling a lot, she told me she worried a lot of my travelling all the time.

In my early years, she once told me that I should get marry, but that was the only one.
Then, we didn't talk about that issue anymore, I though I had hard time in communication with her.

She never expressed her love nor her expectation on me, though I was her only girl at home.

I was kind of wild girl in her eyes, because I left her to pursue my dream, especially when she got sick again in later years.

I remember my deepest impression for Mother's day was the year when I was in US.

I was away from her, but I was thinking of her when that day came.

I made her a card and wrote down my expecation and wishes to her, however bearing in mind that she would not appreciate at all.

I mailed the card to her, and didn't hear anything from the other side. Actually, I seldom wrote her or talked to her during my study in abroad.

It was until her passed away, I cleared her stuff, I found out my card in her belongings - the one and the only one, at that time, I read my card, and it reminded me all my old memories with her.

I can't get the chance to say thank you, I should thanks for everything I got today from my parents, that 's why I appreciate the company and the moment with my father now, we are like brother and sister :) at home, as old men are like kids, they need to take more care!